I’m on the mezanine floor….
A cap whose colour is forgotten behind the thick layer of oil & grease, a pair of knitted white gloves which now look like dark leather ones with the dirt, black heavy leather shoes with metal cover for the toes, newly introduced punk looking helmets which make me look like a cyclist, arm covers, wrist guards, goggles- the deep sea diving types…. These are my safety gears at work… and I’m all set for some action..!!!
I’m told that there’s some problem with the shoulder joints(the front door hinges) and he needs a physio- so I ripped both the hands(the front doors) apart.. His eyes (headlamps) were flickering.. And I checked for some electric signals that the brain sent across.. The MIL was glowing.. So I removed the eyes out of the skull. Even then, the MIL was on. Now it was time to pull out the nose and dig deep into the nostrils (the hood and everything under). Then, the spine (the steering column) came out. Now it was time to shave the head off (the IP panel covers) and I directly pulled out all the nerves (wiring harness) I could catch in a grab. The signals continued… I removed the medulla (immobilizer ECU), cerebrum (theft warning ECU), cerebellum (injector drivers) and the current still continued to flow.. I have removed out every possible source of these signals and now I know the source is “the Master Control- The engine ECU”. It’s in my hand now. Yes the blinking has stopped.
My job doesn’t end there. Infact, it starts only now.. So there I am.. Investigating which Nephron (circuit on the PCB) lead to this current outburst.. I broke open a few capacitors, relays, resistors were already ripped apart.. and finally found the culprit… unbelievable but true- a tiny ant had pee-d on one of the soldered circuits which lead to rust which in turn lead to malfunction of the brain. Hmm…
But my work continues… I will now send the part to the supplier(literally..!!) and follow up with him to identify the root cause and take countermeasure on priority..!!!
OKAY…!!! So I’m Dr. Neurologist here… I work with the brain(ECU) and nerves(all electrical and body parts)
But there is a cardiologist too.. My colleague-friend: He treats all heart related ailments (Engines).
And there’s an orthopaedician too- he treats the limbs (the chassis, suspension systems etc.)
We are the soldiers guarding the Siachen border- We have complete freedom to rip a person apart- part by part and win accolades for it.. Destruction gives us all a complete sense of accomplishment.
We are rarely idle- but when we think we are, we put back everything and go for a long drive.
And then, we are back for yet another postmortem..!!
Ofcourse, I have MUCH better pictures of my patients going through even worse treatments.. But, I had to rely on this internet photo for confidential policies 🙂 Picture courtesy: Google images